Monday, January 25, 2016

Week of Reflection - 13 May 2014

This week has been a week of a lot of reflection for me. I have been thinking a lot about the work that I have done, the things that I have learned so fare, and the things and goals that I want for myself. I took my journal and Wrote some of the things that I know I can do better and some goals to help my companions and I work more together.
      And It has been such a rewarding experience for me. I know that I will never be a prefect missionary but I know for a fact that if we take out weaknesses to the lord, he CAN turn them into strengths. I think sometimes in life we are afraid to do things because we don't know what could happen. I feel this has the case for me. Being here with two senior companions for some reason made me feel insecure about the way I teach, my language skills and the way I interact with the ward. I felt intimidated and took a back seat in our trio. And then I started feeling that what I had to say did not really matter.  And everyone knows that when you are down, that is the time when Satan is going to work his hardest on you try and drag you down.
     I felt like hell was breaking loose on me. So many negative thought were coming into my head that, I could not do this work, and that I would never be the missionary that I want to become. When ever this kind of thing happens on the mission and in life we have one choice and one choice only that will determine in the end if you failed or passed in the eyes of God; weather you turned to God or weather you don't. 
     Every day we are going to meet a new trial in our life. We are going to be tested ,for that is why we are here. And it is my testimony that we have only truly failed when we stop putting our faith in Heavenly father and praying to just do his will.
This week as I had the opportunity to face some hard trials I have been filled with a heart of gratitude for the hard times because it is just another chance I have to turn to my lord and savior and have a nice long conversation with Him.
    The night before I went to the temple I just pored my heart out to Heavenly Father to please let me know how I am doing and what I can do better and how I can better overcome the struggles.
    the answers always come in the temple. As I sat in the celestial room I thought about why I was here on earth and why I was on a mission. And once again My testimony of this gospel was strengthen. I know who I am and I know why I am here.
I know that I am a son of God and he has a perfect plan for me. I know that this gospel is the only thing that matters in this life. I know that the hard times are to help us grow and be closer to our father in heaven. I know that I WAS CALLED TO BRASIL BY MY FATHER IN HEAVEN.
I think that sometimes I let my fears get in the way of letting god work through me to become the best I can become. But I know that I must let go of all my fears and just let god do his work through me. Let go of all the droughts and just go with faith.
I know this is true. IM OUT OF TIME 
I love you all so much have a great week!!!!!
                                                                   Elder Jacobson

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